Leading Through Your Mistakes
The Moment of Realization
It happened with a start—I sat up in bed at 5:55 a.m., heart racing with a sudden thought: Did I ever see that email come in? The email that should have confirmed my submission, the one that would have locked in my proposal for a conference session I was excited to lead. By 6:00 a.m., I was frantically pulling up my computer, finding the right submit button. By 6:03 a.m., I had the confirmation in my inbox. But it was too late. Hours too late.
The wave of emotions hit all at once. Frustration. Anger. Doubt. That self-directed sting when you realize you missed something important—not because of some outside force, not because of bad luck, but because of you. Maybe you lash out at the unfairness of it. Maybe you turn inward, replaying the moment over and over in your mind. Either way, the gut punch of a self-inflicted mistake is something every high performer, every leader, will face at some point.
The information was there. It was clearly stated: If you don’t receive an email, your submission didn’t go through. I had read it. I had skimmed past it. And in the mess of deadlines and details, I had missed the one thing that mattered most.
It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s humbling. You put in the work. You do everything right. And yet, a single overlooked step can mean the difference between getting an opportunity and watching it slip through your fingers. It’s a tough lesson, but also an important one—because as much as we all want to lead with confidence, a leader’s real test comes in moments like these.
The Leadership Perspective Shift
This is where you have a choice.
You can dwell on the mistake, let it spiral, feel frustrated at the wasted time and effort. Or, you can lead yourself through it.
Because leadership isn’t just about making the right calls—it’s about handling the wrong ones. It’s about owning your errors without letting them own you.
For me, this moment was an opportunity to take a breath and remind myself: This was one opportunity. One submission. One door that didn’t open this time. But the next one is coming. And how I respond now determines whether I’m ready when it does.
The Bigger Picture
I’ve always believed that the doors meant for us will open, no matter how many detours we take. But believing that doesn’t mean you don’t feel the sting of disappointment when a door closes—especially when you’re the one who accidentally slammed it shut.
This isn’t just about a missed email. It’s about the universal experience of leaders making mistakes. Forgetting a crucial deadline. Missing a small detail that leads to big consequences. Letting an opportunity pass before realizing how much it mattered. It happens. The real question isn’t why did this happen? but what am I going to do next?
OK, Let’s Play: Lead Through the Setback
You’re going to mess up sometimes. The key is what happens next.
Ready:
Acknowledge what happened. No blaming, no excuses—just own it and decide how you want to respond.
Set:
Take a deep breath, and separate the mistake from your identity. You’re not a failure—you just had a misstep. Now, what’s the next step?
Go:
- Offer feedback if it can help others. I submitted a note to the conference organizers with a small suggestion: a second, more prominent disclaimer to help speakers avoid the same issue.
- Let it go. I could let the frustration fester, or I could move on. I chose to move on.
- Trust that what’s meant for you will find you. One closed door doesn’t define your trajectory.
- Channel the energy into something productive. Like writing this blog.
The Window You Open for Yourself
You’re going to be disappointed. You’re going to face obstacles. And sometimes, the obstacle is you. That’s one of the toughest leadership lessons to learn. It’s easy to push forward when external challenges arise—harder when the challenge is something you did (or didn’t) do.
But a closed door doesn’t mean your story is over. If you’ve ever felt like you messed up a chance you really wanted, remember this: You’re the one who gets to open the next window. The opportunities that are meant for you don’t disappear because of one misstep. They’re still out there. And when the next one comes? You’ll be ready.
---
Hey there! I’m Blair Bloomston, author of UPLIFTED WEEKLY and your friendly consultant, facilitator, and game-based educator on-call, bringing a passion and penchant for all things play (I’m also alliteratively all-in). As the founder of Leaders Uplifted, I help leaders like you tap into creativity, connection, and confidence to make work feel less like a grind and more like a game. Keep reading with me— I’m here to be your business best friend. Let's go!